is that like secret pickel...a playful term for a pre-op transexual and if so why is it for christmas?

but no seriously near my register was a box for something called christmas pickle i shit you not but that's not the worst part...oh no. it has it's own song and most of it either doesn't rhyme or ryhmes very badly.

but okay why is it everytime i get hired for a company...the well oiled machine that was in place before i came to work there suddenly breaks down and does it rather horribly??? when i started working at lowe's we had more then enough personel,we got our breaks on time,lunch was not a problem nore a bother and everyone seemed to like everyone else,most of the time.

now they give us shit for hours,we are lucky if we get our breaks and lunch is an ever changing term. they don't give us the personel to get even the simpliest of jobs done and god help you if you enforce the "customer focused." banner that's just above your head. then people just come out of the wood work with new things you have been doing wrong from day one. i am so tired and sore when i get home cause i have to stretch myself thin and i know i should be happy to have a job. but check this out okay.

i've studied the manual for what i am suppsoed to do. someone refused his change but i can't put it back in the drawer because lowe's won't allow you to open your drawer for any reason without a manager present. they have fucking cameras on me and yet i can't open the drawer to put change back in because i might steal some in the process i measn seriously wtf. but no that's not the problem. i put my change ontop of the register which i have done in front of managers,in front of store management and out of the blue one of my co-worker same level as i am just marches up to me and says "what the fuck is this?" "well a customer didn't want his change and i had already shut my drawer so..." "yeah well you can't do that ever you could be fired for that shit." "what???" "yeah lp sees this and you'd be fired on the spot." "well i was never to...." "i don't care you need to slide it into the drawer or they will fire you."

i walked away ladies and gentlemen but i was fucking livid. she means well but the way she just told me off like that and wouldn't let me explain not to mention that NONE of the MANAGEMENT who has watched me do it has told me of this. so if she is right they i would have been fired for reasons i was not made aware of FROM THE FUCKING BEGING. but if she is wrong,and she has been then seriously where the fuck does she get off just killing my happy. i mean seriously i was having a decent to good day and she just comes in lil' miss storm cloud and informs me that i could have been fired that day and won't let me get a word in edgewise.

cause i told lowe's from the beging to tell me what they expect of me all of it...don't jerk me around cause i won't stand for this shit..economy or not. but i don't know you know. target was working really great then the longer i stayed there the more people quit and the more the store just devolved into chaos...lowe's is heading there too and near the fucking holidays.

maybe i am reading too much into this but i just feel lately like karma is trying to show me something here that i shouldn't hang my hat on retail for the rest of my life. cause i love working with the public most of the time. but i know shit about tools and hardware and it frustrates me that we have no training programs so that when i need help for a customer and our people are not on duty and it's just me...then we have a problem. and they expect you to come in on your days off to learn the store. fuck that noise with the shifts and conditions they force on me lately my days off are spent sleeping. i don't even get shit done here at home. thus alot of why toast is even more delayed.

i know the answer is school. but a. i don't know what i want to do for a living anyone. b. my mind is slow..slow to learn..slow the grasp concepts and it slows my art down. to give you and idea a 3d model that would take a typical proffessional like 2 hours to do takes me 6-8 hours. yeah i'm reallly going to get hired with a track record like that. but it's the same with my hand drawing my brain just opperates differently plus i am exhausted which is worse. and c. i am exhausted i can't go to work,go to school and then come home to parent again fuck that noise.

but i'm getting to the point to where i have no choices. if i don't get some degree i'll always be coming to a store to work not shop and eventualy end up hating it and most of the general public. though i'd love to work games again without doing holiday hours but i digress. so i don't know eventualy i have to shit or get off the pot and right now i don't have the will to do either.

as for the thing review it's not canceled by i may have to cheat talking about the ending of the game cause nobody has fucking codes for my version of gameshark...meaning i can't go back,i can't go forward i'm basicly fucked and can't finish the game as is and again it's not worth a play through again unless i'm going to go full blown "let's play" and i am not ready for that i'd have to digg up tutorials and video editng software. but it'll be coming up soon cause i love the movies..i kinda sorta like the comic book sequals but the game is just piss poor and i'd love to talk about why that is.

thought i am debating ditiching the restart count for a fuck meter...meaning the number of times i've uttered the word fuck in a single play through cause i assure you it's been alot this game just totaly bends you over and i have had to struggle not to throw my controler in anger.

also picked up psp little big planet and easily recomend it to my friends because....seriously do i even have to go into the ways it's almost better then it's console bigger brother. the game is great in almost every aspect even if MM didn't make the game you'd never know it by how it plays and the new musical scores and all new levels and costumes seriously make it work 35 bones. you could do worse then LBP for 35 bucks. so go out and get it now.

anyways i love you all and hope to speak to you again with better news.